I should ask my wife to put this on a cross-stitch sampler for me so I can hang it up in my office.

“The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.”

This sums up a lot of what I try to do in couples therapy. So many couples are comprised of people who have gotten so lost in their partner’s head that they lose track of the fact that they are separate individuals with separate needs. About 50% of the time, I try to help these couples learn this simple truth and help them to detach so that they can renegotiate their relationship.

If you are married (or if you aren’t), meditate on this simple slogan.

And now, something for you lovebirds out there.

Yesterday I started my private practice with my hours being about half full at this point.  I’m looking forward to helping a lot of people.

I started off with a couple of couples who came for marital therapy.  This got me to thinking how useful it would be for my readers to be aware of John Gottman’s work.  Gottman is a psychologist (if I recall), who, with his wife, studies couples and has come up with some good science about what predicts a divorce and what predicts a steady relationship.  At his website, there are 2 quizzes that I would suggest that if you are a couple, you may want to take, as they are informative about how you feel about your relationship.

Here’s the website:  http://www.gottman.com/marriage/relationship_quiz/

I would suggest that couples who are interested in the quiz sit down with a nice pot of tea and take the quiz, comparing and discussing the results.  Should make for a fruitful discussion.